Trauma-triggering-trauma in politics
“I was guilty until I was proven innocent” – Michelle Thomson explained to the Silent MP. Michelle is the co-founder of Momentous Change, a former member of the House of Commons, and a Scottish parliamentary candidate.
Michelle lost the party whip when she was a member of the House of Commons following an allegation that was later proven to be false. ‘Why in the face of this did I end up disclosing something as deeply personal as I did? It was almost inevitable’, she tells the Silent MP.
Michelle felt it was her ‘duty’ to share her experience of handling trauma-triggering-trauma, hoping to help other politicians navigate this sensitive terrain through the unique context of high politics. Michelle’s original trauma was generated by a rape that took place when she was 14, which she held to herself for three decades.
Michelle ‘felt compelled in some way’ to share her story in the House of Commons debate on the UN International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This, she now explains, was the result of the loss and humiliation she experienced at being kicked out of her party, which left her ‘very, very alone without any of the normal things that you would expect’.
‘Looking back’, she continued, ‘I was in the event of something deeply traumatic to the point where it was inevitable that it came to the surface. In that moment, when I gave that speech, all there was, was me. All there was, was the truth. I did not make a conscious choice that I was going to give a gift to the world. It was simply that there was nothing else left, but me. I find it very interesting from a psychology point of view’, she reflected.
There is a clear link between public humiliation and our cognitive capacity. The media furore surrounding the allegations left Michelle ‘frozen’. ‘‘I regard myself as a highly analytical person. But I was unable to process and make sense of the situation. So, for a short while, I was literally frozen in shock and in horror’, she openly reflects.
Understanding that her reaction to losing the whip was almost a default behaviour that followed the same pattern as her childhood trauma made it easier for Michelle to accept her response. ‘It prevented me from beating myself up for the way I responded. I was able to accept that in events like that the body takes over and is designed to protect you’.
It is not an experience Michelle would have chosen, yet ‘I now have a very significant data set of what I did do in the face of very significant adversity’. This offers comfort when we know that the best prediction of human behaviour is not what you say you would do, but what you actually did do.
‘In a strange way I am glad that the events occurred because I have been tested and I can retain a certain quiet pride at the strength and courage I have’. More than this, ‘the truth contains power and that is ultimately liberating’, Michelle offers those who may also be grappling with the emotional aftermath of revealing their truth in the face of a trauma-triggering-trauma event.
